Still here

Almost an entire week since I posted. I am feeling really withdrawn lately. Anxious, scared, you name it. Felt like I held my breath from last week's appointment until today's.

Since the RE released us last week, all my appointments from now on will be with my ob-gyn or with one of her physician's assistants. This morning's was with my favorite PA, Erica. The appointment was at 9:25. S met me at the office, I signed in at 9:20, went to give my urine sample (for once in my life, I did not have to pee and COULD NOT manage more than a few drops). We weren't in the waiting room that long, really, before the nurse called us back to check weight and blood pressure.

I've lost 2 pounds in the last 2 weeks. No idea why. I still feel hungry a lot and am eating regularly. My blood pressure was very high for me. I'm usually a 110/70 kind of gal, and today's reading was 141/70. Of course, the nurse had just opened my chart and said "Oh, twins?!" and I was explaining to her what had happened while she was taking my blood pressure.

We were taken back to one of the ultrasound rooms and I dutifully stripped from the waist down and covered myself with the paper drape. And then we waited. And waited. And waited. I think Erica finally came in around 10:15.

The nurse had told her about the loss of one of the twins, so the first thing she said when she came in was how sorry she was. We chatted a tiny bit and then she moved to the ultrasound machine. She knew I was feeling very anxious.

Twin B hasn't shrunk much since last week, and Erica said it could be weeks before my body fully reabsorbs the embryo.

Twin A (gotta think of a new name) looks awesome! Erica estimated the heart rate in the 190s (um, isn't that WAY too fast?) and calculated the baby to be 10 weeks, 2 days based on size. (I am 10 weeks today)

As we were watching the screen, the baby started moving all around. Almost looked as if he (yes, I am thinking boy again) needed to stretch a little and find a comfy position.

Got a very cute picture of him looking right at us, with his hand up by his face.

Hang in there, buddy. I'm already getting very attached to you.

Next appointment is in 2 weeks. Erica's going to do another u/s to see how things look. Have I mentioned how much I love this woman?

And then the week after that is our first trimester screening, with the bloodwork and the nuchal translucency test.

Right now, I've got to sleep. I managed to catch KB's cold and now it's turning into a sinus infection.

More later about our Christmas-y last few days...