Leaving on a jet plane

Know exactly when I'll be back again, though.

I'm sitting at gate A-2 in the international terminal at SFO. My flight to Salt Lake City was supposed to have left an hour ago. Instead, the arriving flight just got here and the passengers are departing.

This trip is a little "last hurrah" for myself. I'm going to the Mecca for genealogists to gorge myself on microfilm and microfiche. I know, it's not everyone's cup of tea, but for me, this is very, very exciting.

Daddy and KB will have a Boys' Weekend. My stomach is doing flips. Not sure if that is 100% nerves, 100% the dim sum S and I ate for lunch, or some combination of both.

I haven't left KB since August 2006. He was 13 months old at the time. I went to Boston for a national genealogy conference. I had mixed feelings about that trip too.

This morning, we dropped KB off at daycare together. I've mentioned over the last week that Mommy is going away for a few days and Daddy and KB are going to have a ton of fun together. Every time I've said it, KB tells me "You need to stay with us." When we dropped him off, I didn't want to make a huge deal about the fact that I wouldn't see him for a few days. But on the other hand, I wanted to smother him with hugs and kisses because I am going to miss him like mad.

I'm curious what his reaction will be when he and S get home tonight and I'm not there. When I am not there to help with the bedtime routine. When I am not there in the morning.

Leaving him behind is so hard. While I know it's OK for me to have my own hobbies and interests, and to have a little "me" time, there is a huge part of me that thinks I should be there for him all the time.

It isn't guilt I feel exactly. Or maybe it is, partly. Fear? Fear that S is going to be better/more patient with the single parent thing than I am? Fear that he won't?

Or fear that KB isn't going to miss me at all.

I'm pretty sure that is a big part of it.

And while I know that I am going to have a lot of fun geeking out this weekend, I also remember from last time that this is the hardest part -- the actual leaving.

Being at the airport reminds me of KB. The changing tables in the restroom where I have changed many a diaper between flights. The escalators he loves to ride on. Going through security, which is amazingly easy when you're flying solo.

I just need to give myself permission to go and to have a good time.

How long after I land do you think I'll call home?

25 weeks!

How have I already made it to 25 weeks? This pregnancy really is flying by, which makes me sad.

Now that we know we're having another boy, people are already starting to ask if we're going to try once more for a girl. Oy! Let me have this one and see how crazy my life gets first. But I don't think I'll ever be able to talk S into it.

Had my 25 week appointment this morning. First time this pregnancy with the tape measure on the belly. Pronounced "perfect". Heartbeat great, blood pressure awesome, weight was not mentioned but I know I gained 3-4 pounds since my appointment at 21 weeks. Total weight gain is right around 16 or 17 pounds, so I think I'm doing OK.

Got my sugary glucose drink for my GTT, and need to do that sometime next week.

Will get my RhoGam shot at my 28 week appointment.

Funny aside: there is a new gal in the receptionist area, and she was the one scheduling my next appointment. She asked what the appointment was for and I replied "My regular pre-natal appointment, plus a RhoGam shot." She started typing and said, "OK, so you're getting your Rogaine shot..."

I really wanted to laugh. I'm guessing she hasn't worked in many (any?) ob-gyn's offices before.

At my next appointment, we'll also talk about c-section dates. Interestingly, my c-section will still be considered "elective" even though Dr. G told me that there is no chance I will be allowed to try for a VBAC. Given the "elective" nature of the surgery, it is possible that our c-section will get bumped in favor of another labor and delivery.

Did I already mention that we're going to ask for July 1st as the delivery date? If we get bumped, then I guess we'll just try the next day, or the next. I am sure Dr. G will not schedule anything for July 4th, and I really want to be home by KB's birthday on July 7th.

We've signed KB up for a sibling class at the hospital where we're delivering. They have the sibling class once a month, so we opted for the June 28th class. I'm excited about the class. I don't think he'll fully understand what's about to hit the fan until the baby actually gets home, but I think the class will be good for us to do together.

More later. At work and feeling paranoid that someone's going to appear at my cube any moment...

Tales from the back seat

Driving home yesterday...

Me: [Big yawn] Ugh, I'm so sleepy!
KB: [Yawn] Mmm, I'm sleepy too!
Me: I think you and Mommy should both go to bed early tonight.
KB: [flailing arms/legs, screaming] NO! NO! NO, Mommy!! Stop upsetting me!!
Me: What's upsetting you, baby?
KB: The going to bed part!

Things I want/need to blog about

In no particular order...

- The two pregnancy announcements (extended family) over the weekend
- Easter weekend, egg hunts and going without naps
- Being sick AGAIN
- How much I suck for not doing an Easter basket for KB this year (yet!)
- The crazy amount of house stuff I need to do before July
- How much I loathe our taxes
- The cute things KB says (note to self: big big, share vs. fight, ready to come out?)
- KB doing pee pee "like a tiger"
- Poop in the potty -- not intentional, but I'll take it!
- Baby gifts
- My upcoming getaway for JUST ME

I'm sure there is lots more. This is a start. Need to just post in bits and pieces during the day.

At work I feel guilty posting instead of working. At home I either don't have time or have S hovering nearby and don't want to take the chance. (He still doesn't know about this blog)

Hang loose

KB got the hang of the hand gesture "Shaka" over the course of the week. He practiced a lot. :-) By the end of the trip, he was entertaining everyone by telling them "Shaka -- hang loose!"

Aloha

Didn't mean to post our gender news and run. We slipped off to Hawaii for a week the day after our ultrasound.

This was a trip we had originally planned for December, 2007, but we postponed it when our 6-week ultrasound showed twins.

So, we spent a week in Kauai, as opposed to Maui as originally planned. But it was a FANTASTIC vacation. Relaxing and exhausting all at once. It was our first (and probably last) week-long vacation with just the three of us; previous big vacations have involved either going to visit family or traveling with one of our families.

Have lots more to say about the trip, plus tons of pictures, but will do that another time. KB is having a very difficult time re-adjusting to sleeping on his own and the last two nights have been horrible for all of us. I need a nap.