My OB's office called yesterday with Saturday's hCG results. They use a lab that is a little, shall we say, slow.
The nurse said, "I'm a little confused why we're running these for you." Do most women just get a qualitative hCG test? Pregnant or not pregnant? Give me numbers, baby!
So my hCG level on Saturday (17dpiui) was 908. If I had gotten that number on Saturday afternoon, I would have freaked out and worried the rest of the weekend. Since my 15dpiui level was 477, I was looking for something in the 950 range.
I'm just very glad I got Monday's result (2238) first.
Again, to recap:
10/31, 11:50 am: 296 (14dpiui)
11/1, 9:00 am: 477 (15dpiui)
11/3, 10:10 am: 908 (17dpiui)
11/5, 9:15 am: 2238 (19dpiui)
The 15dpiui and 19dpiui tests were done in the lab at the RE's office. The 14dpiui and 17 dpiui tests were done by two different offices of the Stanford Blood Lab.
But still, I would think a quant. hCG is a quant. hCG.
Oh well, no point in stressing about it now.
Of course, I've been taking all my numbers and Googling obsessively for things like hCG predictive pregnancy outcome. I really need to stop.
But I think at least I've figured out why the first several weeks of pregnancy unnerve me so. There's no feedback. Aside from a couple (few) beta hCG numbers and hopefully an ultrasound (or two, or three), there is little indication WTF is going on inside my body.
At least in the second and third trimesters, you can feel the baby move and kick. From 10 or so weeks on, you can hear the baby's heartbeat on Doppler. (Aside: yes, I will be renting one again. I am that needy.)
Yes, my boobs are killing me and I maul them at every opportunity: "Are they still sore? Are they still as sore as they were yesterday?"
And I'm exhausted. But I'm sure that has more to do with my whirling dervish of a 2-year-old.
I wonder what Tom and Katie did with their ultrasound machine after Suri was born? I sure could use one right about now.
Can't believe I have to wait another week.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
5 weeks, more or less
My IUI was 3 weeks ago today. Not sure if conception happened that day or the following day. So I am right around 5 weeks. Will know more once I get an ultrasound.
The time is dragging. I took my first HPT on Monday night, October 29th, so I've known I was pregnant for less than 9 days. It feels like weeks.
Honestly, I thought that having a 2-year-old at home would be more than enough distraction for me. And truthfully, I don't think about the pregnancy all the time. I'm sure I had lots more time to be obsessive during those early days/weeks with KB.
If you've never experienced infertility and/or miscarriage, I suppose it's hard to understand having a great deal of anxiety during the first trimester.
I wonder how many women get two lines on a pregnancy test and sail confidently through their pregnancies, being absolutely certain they will have babies at the end?
That was probably me during my first pregnancy. Miscarriages were something that happened to other people. Not to me. Not to someone who'd been trying to conceive for 15 months and who so desperately wanted a baby.
And yet it happened all the same.
Not that I am fearful 100% of the time. Each of my hCG results has given me hope and a wee bit of confidence that things are going well. But I know that, for me, getting to that first ultrasound is key. If we see a heartbeat at 6 weeks, I will feel much better.
I can't stand waiting. I'm no good at surprises. If only I had a crystal ball so I could see into the future and know that all would end well...
The time is dragging. I took my first HPT on Monday night, October 29th, so I've known I was pregnant for less than 9 days. It feels like weeks.
Honestly, I thought that having a 2-year-old at home would be more than enough distraction for me. And truthfully, I don't think about the pregnancy all the time. I'm sure I had lots more time to be obsessive during those early days/weeks with KB.
If you've never experienced infertility and/or miscarriage, I suppose it's hard to understand having a great deal of anxiety during the first trimester.
I wonder how many women get two lines on a pregnancy test and sail confidently through their pregnancies, being absolutely certain they will have babies at the end?
That was probably me during my first pregnancy. Miscarriages were something that happened to other people. Not to me. Not to someone who'd been trying to conceive for 15 months and who so desperately wanted a baby.
And yet it happened all the same.
Not that I am fearful 100% of the time. Each of my hCG results has given me hope and a wee bit of confidence that things are going well. But I know that, for me, getting to that first ultrasound is key. If we see a heartbeat at 6 weeks, I will feel much better.
I can't stand waiting. I'm no good at surprises. If only I had a crystal ball so I could see into the future and know that all would end well...
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Yuck
Have I mentioned how much I hate progesterone suppositories?
They really really really make me feel like I'm about to start my period any minute.
They really really really make me feel like I'm about to start my period any minute.
Monday, November 5, 2007
And still more numbers
hCG results from today: 2238.
This is great news. Thursday's hCG level was 477, and the number should have doubled twice by today's blood draw. I was hoping for a level just a smidge over 1900.
I'm happy. I'm by no means confident yet that this pregnancy will result in a live baby, but I'm happy.
First ultrasound: next Thursday (11/15) at 11 am. I'll be 6 weeks.
Gotta do lots of fun stuff with KB between now and then to distract myself.
btw, KB keeps insisting he wants "a baby brother AND a baby sister." Gulp.
This is great news. Thursday's hCG level was 477, and the number should have doubled twice by today's blood draw. I was hoping for a level just a smidge over 1900.
I'm happy. I'm by no means confident yet that this pregnancy will result in a live baby, but I'm happy.
First ultrasound: next Thursday (11/15) at 11 am. I'll be 6 weeks.
Gotta do lots of fun stuff with KB between now and then to distract myself.
btw, KB keeps insisting he wants "a baby brother AND a baby sister." Gulp.
Friday, November 2, 2007
More numbers
OB's office called today with the results from Wednesday's bloodwork. Progesterone was "normal" (I'll ask on Monday for the actual number).
hCG from Wednesday was 296.
So, to recap:
10/31, 11:50 am: 296
11/1, 9:00 am: 477
This is better than the "doubling every 48 hours" rate.
So far so good.
P.S. I know, I really should have just been patient and gone to my RE's office as scheduled. I called my OB's office on Wednesday, thinking they could get my results the same day. When they said they couldn't give results for at least 48 hours, I felt stupid saying "OK, just forget it".
P.P.S. S is home. He is reading bedtime stories to KB as I type. Sweet relief.
hCG from Wednesday was 296.
So, to recap:
10/31, 11:50 am: 296
11/1, 9:00 am: 477
This is better than the "doubling every 48 hours" rate.
So far so good.
P.S. I know, I really should have just been patient and gone to my RE's office as scheduled. I called my OB's office on Wednesday, thinking they could get my results the same day. When they said they couldn't give results for at least 48 hours, I felt stupid saying "OK, just forget it".
P.P.S. S is home. He is reading bedtime stories to KB as I type. Sweet relief.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
hCG numbers
Went to the fertility clinic this morning for my blood draw. The nurse called me back in less than 3 hours.
My hCG level at 15dpiui is 477. (For comparison, my number with KB at the same stage was 408.)
Normally, they'd test again after 48 hours to make sure the number doubles, but the nurse told me to wait until Monday.
Not sure why; the clinic is open weekends since not everyone ovulates or starts a period Monday through Friday.
Anyway, by Monday afternoon I should have a better idea of where this might possibly be going.
Oh, here's something laughable: I was advised to take it easy, avoid straining or lifting, etc. I asked what I was supposed to do with my 32 pound toddler who still likes to be carried when it suits his fancy. The nurse replied "Try to distract him with something else when he asks you to carry him."
Riiiiiiiight. Because that always works.
My hCG level at 15dpiui is 477. (For comparison, my number with KB at the same stage was 408.)
Normally, they'd test again after 48 hours to make sure the number doubles, but the nurse told me to wait until Monday.
Not sure why; the clinic is open weekends since not everyone ovulates or starts a period Monday through Friday.
Anyway, by Monday afternoon I should have a better idea of where this might possibly be going.
Oh, here's something laughable: I was advised to take it easy, avoid straining or lifting, etc. I asked what I was supposed to do with my 32 pound toddler who still likes to be carried when it suits his fancy. The nurse replied "Try to distract him with something else when he asks you to carry him."
Riiiiiiiight. Because that always works.
Halloween
KB loved trick-or-treating last night. He was a little shy at the beginning, but after maybe two houses, he started yelling "TrickerTreat! TrickerTreat! TrickerTreat!" as soon as we'd ring a doorbell.
He only stopped and tried to eat candy once, and I told him that candy was "for putting in his trick-or-treat bag now and for eating later". He actually listened, and repeated it back to me several times throughout the evening. Of course, as soon as we got home, he wanted to eat candy and there was no way in hell that was happening just before bedtime.
He pitched a hellacious fit after we got home. My southern relatives would have deemed it a "wall-eyed fit". We were both crying by the end. I couldn't do anything right. Even if he told me he wanted me to do something (like carry him upstairs), he then changed his mind and screamed bloody murder that he wanted to do something else.
I think he was just very tired from three nights in a row of late bedtimes *and* the Halloween party he had at daycare, where the kids got terribly sugared up.
He was completely fine this morning and did not make reference to any badness last night. I've been giving him as many hugs and snuggles as he will let me because I still feel like shit about how last night went down.
S comes back tomorrow and I am so ready for the relief. Being a single parent is f*cking hard. I don't know how people do it for weeks, months, years on end. Seriously.
I told my mom tonight, every time I have to do this single parent gig for any length of time, I have more and more respect for my sister and what she must go through on a regular basis.
He only stopped and tried to eat candy once, and I told him that candy was "for putting in his trick-or-treat bag now and for eating later". He actually listened, and repeated it back to me several times throughout the evening. Of course, as soon as we got home, he wanted to eat candy and there was no way in hell that was happening just before bedtime.
He pitched a hellacious fit after we got home. My southern relatives would have deemed it a "wall-eyed fit". We were both crying by the end. I couldn't do anything right. Even if he told me he wanted me to do something (like carry him upstairs), he then changed his mind and screamed bloody murder that he wanted to do something else.
I think he was just very tired from three nights in a row of late bedtimes *and* the Halloween party he had at daycare, where the kids got terribly sugared up.
He was completely fine this morning and did not make reference to any badness last night. I've been giving him as many hugs and snuggles as he will let me because I still feel like shit about how last night went down.
S comes back tomorrow and I am so ready for the relief. Being a single parent is f*cking hard. I don't know how people do it for weeks, months, years on end. Seriously.
I told my mom tonight, every time I have to do this single parent gig for any length of time, I have more and more respect for my sister and what she must go through on a regular basis.
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