...we got lucky.
It was our 3rd IUI. After almost a year of tests and treatments and no baby, I was getting sick of it all. I was ready to take a break and start exploring options like IVF and/or adoption.
I'm too tired to make a really thoughtful entry, so I'll just say that KB, I am so thankful that you are in my life. I love being your mom. You make me smile and laugh out loud every single day.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
That sucked, part II
My mom called last night. She and Dad signed the final papers yesterday to sell the house. She said she dug up the papers from when they bought the house, and they were dated October 14, 1980. So they lacked 2 days being in the same house for 27 years.
This day has been coming for a long time; it was not a surprise. Hell, they've had their new house (5 minutes away from my sister's house) since June if not before. I went home in April to help go through things from the garage, the attic, the storage locker. So no, the sale itself was not a surprise.
But yet, hearing the news was a shock to my system. I'm very sad, and I'm sure it is because this definitively closes the chapter on my childhood. Good Lord, I'm in my late 30s, so childhood is a distant memory. I don't know why this house sale is affecting me so much.
The three of us grew up in that house. That's where we got ready for dates, proms, graduations. Where we ate breakfast together in the mornings before getting ready for school. Where we ate dinner together every night as a family.
We had so many Christmases and Thanksgivings there, even after we'd all gone to college, moved off, gotten married, had kids.
That is the first grandparents' house KB ever knew. He had been there often enough that he remembered where things were from visit to visit. When we brought him home last year for Christmas, I went in first with the camera, hoping to capture his wide-eyed expression at seeing Nana's big Christmas tree. Instead, he bypassed the tree entirely and ran straight for the toybox, which hadn't moved from its position the previous visit.
There are just so many memories. But as my mom said, she and my dad don't really have roots in that little small town anymore. A lot of memories, yes, but no roots. It is time to move on.
I just never thought I would be so sad about a house. It seems so weird to imagine other people living in that house after almost 27 years.
Goodbye, little house on Dawn Drive. I miss you already.
This day has been coming for a long time; it was not a surprise. Hell, they've had their new house (5 minutes away from my sister's house) since June if not before. I went home in April to help go through things from the garage, the attic, the storage locker. So no, the sale itself was not a surprise.
But yet, hearing the news was a shock to my system. I'm very sad, and I'm sure it is because this definitively closes the chapter on my childhood. Good Lord, I'm in my late 30s, so childhood is a distant memory. I don't know why this house sale is affecting me so much.
The three of us grew up in that house. That's where we got ready for dates, proms, graduations. Where we ate breakfast together in the mornings before getting ready for school. Where we ate dinner together every night as a family.
We had so many Christmases and Thanksgivings there, even after we'd all gone to college, moved off, gotten married, had kids.
That is the first grandparents' house KB ever knew. He had been there often enough that he remembered where things were from visit to visit. When we brought him home last year for Christmas, I went in first with the camera, hoping to capture his wide-eyed expression at seeing Nana's big Christmas tree. Instead, he bypassed the tree entirely and ran straight for the toybox, which hadn't moved from its position the previous visit.
There are just so many memories. But as my mom said, she and my dad don't really have roots in that little small town anymore. A lot of memories, yes, but no roots. It is time to move on.
I just never thought I would be so sad about a house. It seems so weird to imagine other people living in that house after almost 27 years.
Goodbye, little house on Dawn Drive. I miss you already.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Well, that sucked
Had my follicle scan this morning at the fertility clinic. The news was not good.
My dominant follicle is on the right side. Yes, the same right side that showed up as blocked on my HSG a few years ago. And even though it's the dominant follicle, it's still puny -- only 12mm.
On the left side is one little follicle, 9mm.
The doctor said it's possible that the 9mm follicle will catch up to the 12mm one.
What's really disappointing about this is that I've already taken Clomid (100mg) for 5 days and 150 iU of Gonal-F. This is the protocol that worked for us last time. I know I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up that it would work so quickly, but I did.
For reference, on the cycle we conceived KB, I had 3 follicles at 20mm and above on this same cycle day (CD 13). We did our IUI the next day.
Needless to say, my follicles still have some growing to do. So I'll finish off what's in the Gonal-F pen (there should be 225 iU left) over the next 2 nights, and we'll see how things look on Monday morning.
I was really hoping things would work on the first try this time. Now I have to figure out how many cycles we're willing to try, and how far we're willing to go, to have another baby.
My dominant follicle is on the right side. Yes, the same right side that showed up as blocked on my HSG a few years ago. And even though it's the dominant follicle, it's still puny -- only 12mm.
On the left side is one little follicle, 9mm.
The doctor said it's possible that the 9mm follicle will catch up to the 12mm one.
What's really disappointing about this is that I've already taken Clomid (100mg) for 5 days and 150 iU of Gonal-F. This is the protocol that worked for us last time. I know I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up that it would work so quickly, but I did.
For reference, on the cycle we conceived KB, I had 3 follicles at 20mm and above on this same cycle day (CD 13). We did our IUI the next day.
Needless to say, my follicles still have some growing to do. So I'll finish off what's in the Gonal-F pen (there should be 225 iU left) over the next 2 nights, and we'll see how things look on Monday morning.
I was really hoping things would work on the first try this time. Now I have to figure out how many cycles we're willing to try, and how far we're willing to go, to have another baby.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Sneak peak, Halloween costume
Take two...let's see if this works any better...
Better pictures to come...
Better pictures to come...
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Sleep struggles and successes
I know the minute I write this down, it's all going to go down the toilet.
Since we got back from India, something very unexpected has happened: KB has been waking up later in the mornings. We had gotten used to his waking up anywhere between 5 and 5:30 a.m. So painful.
Ever since we got back, though, he's been sleeping until 6:30 or so. This morning, he didn't wake up until 7:20!! He was asleep by around 8:20 last night. 11 hours of sleep at night is just about unheard of for KB, except when he is sick.
Of course, he is still NOT sleeping through the night most nights. Last night, for example, he was up twice. Once around 10:30 or 11, and again around 1:30 -- both times asking for water.
I wasn't surprised he was tired last night. I took him to this indoor play place called The Jungle and we crawled through tunnels and slid down slides for a couple of hours, then we had swimming lessons after that. I guess if I could keep up that level of activity every day...
Still, I wish I knew the magic incantation for getting him to sleep until at least 7 am on a regular basis. Keeping him up later at night is not the answer. He still wakes up at roughly the same time, even if he goes to bed at 10 or 11 at night.
And I don't know if he will ever sleep through the night consistently. I kept holding out for 2 years as the "magic" age when everything would fall into place and he'd suddenly start sleeping through. Nope, hasn't happened yet.
Of course, the time change in a few weeks will screw all this up anyway. Hmmm, just noticed we don't set our clocks back until November 4th. That's good. Maybe we'll have another month of decent wake-up times. Knock on wood.
Since we got back from India, something very unexpected has happened: KB has been waking up later in the mornings. We had gotten used to his waking up anywhere between 5 and 5:30 a.m. So painful.
Ever since we got back, though, he's been sleeping until 6:30 or so. This morning, he didn't wake up until 7:20!! He was asleep by around 8:20 last night. 11 hours of sleep at night is just about unheard of for KB, except when he is sick.
Of course, he is still NOT sleeping through the night most nights. Last night, for example, he was up twice. Once around 10:30 or 11, and again around 1:30 -- both times asking for water.
I wasn't surprised he was tired last night. I took him to this indoor play place called The Jungle and we crawled through tunnels and slid down slides for a couple of hours, then we had swimming lessons after that. I guess if I could keep up that level of activity every day...
Still, I wish I knew the magic incantation for getting him to sleep until at least 7 am on a regular basis. Keeping him up later at night is not the answer. He still wakes up at roughly the same time, even if he goes to bed at 10 or 11 at night.
And I don't know if he will ever sleep through the night consistently. I kept holding out for 2 years as the "magic" age when everything would fall into place and he'd suddenly start sleeping through. Nope, hasn't happened yet.
Of course, the time change in a few weeks will screw all this up anyway. Hmmm, just noticed we don't set our clocks back until November 4th. That's good. Maybe we'll have another month of decent wake-up times. Knock on wood.
CD4, Clomid checks and drugs
CD4. Nothing really to report on that front. I will start Clomid tomorrow and will hope desperately for no side effects (headaches, bitchiness, moodiness, crying for no reason, etc).
Went in this morning for my Clomid check. I don't know why I thought I would get an ultrasound to check my ovaries for cysts. I guess it's been a long time since I've done the infertility drill. Instead, everything was done "manually", and even that is more information than anyone reading this blog could possibly want.
The nurse who did my check surprised the hell out of me by walking into the room and giving me a huge hug while I was sitting on the exam table. Not that I minded the hug; I was just very surprised. I saw this particular nurse quite a lot back in 2004 when we were trying to get pregnant. She asked if I'd had a girl or a boy, asked his age, etc. Then she told me that she herself had been an infertility patient. I had no idea.
She said she'd done several IUIs and was preparing to go back home to Iran for IVF (much cheaper there, she said) when she got pregnant naturally. Now she has 2 kids.
Anyway, this particular nurse is a rock star because when she heard that our new insurance doesn't cover infertility drugs, she went and got me a Gonal-F pen from the sample closet. Now I have enough Gonal-F to do this cycle and next, if things come to that.
I didn't realize how much these drugs cost. When I took my prescription to Long's the other night, the pharmacist called me a couple of hours later to say that my insurance didn't cover the meds. Gonal-F alone was going to be upwards of $200 for the single dose I need. Yikes!
So the sample pen from the fertility clinic is very much appreciated. And I found a mail-order pharmacy where the other meds will be cheaper than they would be at Long's.
If I'd known how much this was going to cost out of pocket, I would have looked for a full-time job with good health insurance, rather than continuing the contracting gig. S's health insurance sucks now since they switched from Blue Cross.
Oh well. Live and learn. Fingers crossed this cycle just works.
Went in this morning for my Clomid check. I don't know why I thought I would get an ultrasound to check my ovaries for cysts. I guess it's been a long time since I've done the infertility drill. Instead, everything was done "manually", and even that is more information than anyone reading this blog could possibly want.
The nurse who did my check surprised the hell out of me by walking into the room and giving me a huge hug while I was sitting on the exam table. Not that I minded the hug; I was just very surprised. I saw this particular nurse quite a lot back in 2004 when we were trying to get pregnant. She asked if I'd had a girl or a boy, asked his age, etc. Then she told me that she herself had been an infertility patient. I had no idea.
She said she'd done several IUIs and was preparing to go back home to Iran for IVF (much cheaper there, she said) when she got pregnant naturally. Now she has 2 kids.
Anyway, this particular nurse is a rock star because when she heard that our new insurance doesn't cover infertility drugs, she went and got me a Gonal-F pen from the sample closet. Now I have enough Gonal-F to do this cycle and next, if things come to that.
I didn't realize how much these drugs cost. When I took my prescription to Long's the other night, the pharmacist called me a couple of hours later to say that my insurance didn't cover the meds. Gonal-F alone was going to be upwards of $200 for the single dose I need. Yikes!
So the sample pen from the fertility clinic is very much appreciated. And I found a mail-order pharmacy where the other meds will be cheaper than they would be at Long's.
If I'd known how much this was going to cost out of pocket, I would have looked for a full-time job with good health insurance, rather than continuing the contracting gig. S's health insurance sucks now since they switched from Blue Cross.
Oh well. Live and learn. Fingers crossed this cycle just works.
Monday, October 1, 2007
On with the show
Appointment is set for 10 am Wednesday.
Drugs have been ordered and should be ready for pickup tomorrow afternoon.
Prenatal vitamins are being ingested. Ooops, forgot them this morning.
I still vacillate between being excited and wondering what the hell I'm doing.
I very much want KB to have a sibling, but I am worried about having another child as, um, "spirited" as KB is. Will I actually have the energy to keep up with two of them?
Drugs have been ordered and should be ready for pickup tomorrow afternoon.
Prenatal vitamins are being ingested. Ooops, forgot them this morning.
I still vacillate between being excited and wondering what the hell I'm doing.
I very much want KB to have a sibling, but I am worried about having another child as, um, "spirited" as KB is. Will I actually have the energy to keep up with two of them?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)